As I've written about before, there are lots of rules on airplanes. There has to be. It's a tiny space, crammed with people who don' t know each other, aren't familiar with the procedures, are ready to blow at any moment. But this weekend, several new P.A. announcements came to mind. "Ladies and Gentleman: As there are 257 of you, and 6 lavatories, it is never a good idea to settle into the lav with a KINDLE. There will be a line up of people, angry people, who, when you finally open the door with said kindle in hand, 20 minutes later, will want to choke you. You are not in your bathroom at home, which 1) doesn't have blue fluid in the lav, and 2) is usually bigger than a closet (and smells way better, let's hope). "
Announcement number 2) "Ladies and Gentlemen: Although I just spent the last five minutes going over our service and all the products available during this flight to eat and/or drink, I will gladly repeat them at every row, and even every person if necessary. But, when I do repeat that whole, REALLY long list, please listen to it. After I go through that list for the 100th time that flight, please don't then say "do you have buttermilk?" Really? Have you been to a restaurant, or frankly, anywhere, lately, that has buttermilk? Do they even make it even more? Isn't it awfully bad for you? Hasn't it been outlawed in most states?
So, in conclusion, please, no kindles in the airplane lavs. And, no buttermilk has ever been served on an airplane. Ever. And hopefully, never will be.