The worst things a passenger ever said to a flight attendant

It is normal to get stressed out when you are flying. The security, the rules, the weather--sometimes it all seems to conspire to ruin your travel plans. You get angry, and you take it out on your family, your fellow passengers and mostly your flight attendant crew. Because, we control the weather, don't you know?? It really is our fault that your were late leaving your office, therefore late to the airport, therefore you didn't get the window seat you wanted.  It is our fault that a screaming baby is sitting right next to you, with a mother who orders a glass of wine and pulls out a Cosmopolitan magazine and wants to forget she has a child for a couple of hours. It really is our fault that there is a huge snowstorm coming because we really like to be stuck on an airplane for many long, extra hours that we most likely are not getting paid for, and that will force us to miss putting our own children to bed. A 3 hour flight turning into a 6 hour flight?  Bring it on. An 8 hour flight turned into a 12 hour flight, and oh, an unscheduled stop somewhere just for the fun of it? My idea of a good time.

Each of us flight attendants has a war story, or many, of the worst things ever said to them. For years, mine was of a guy who blamed me for him missing his Christmas with his family. It was my first Christmas after having my child, and I was missing that as well, but no sympathy for me from him. 

But a couple of years ago, I got another story. It was my first flight of the day, a decent hour of the day, I had slept well the night before. A man and his wife got on and came to the back of the plane where I was standing, between the two bathrooms. (It's the only place to go)  I smiled and welcomed them on board.  Pretty quickly, the man said "Are you ok?" "Yes, why?" I replied. 

He thought for a moment and then said " You look haggard". I went into my self-protective mode. "Haggard?  Not just tired, but haggard?" I answered in a very calm voice. (Right).  His wife gave him a look like "what are you thinking" and with the biggest, brightest most un-haggard smile I could muster I said "Please don't say that ever again to anyone" and walked off to dazzle the rest of the crowd with my haggard old self.

During debriefing that night, ( a fancy name for happy hour) I was telling my story. The floodgates opened. My co-workers shared their horror stories with me. 

"I had a passenger who told me there was no way I was as important as she is." 

"I had a first class passenger that said he paid a lot of money to sit up there and be an asshole."  

"I had a passenger ask me why my airline is hiring so many ugly flight attendants."  

"I had a passenger tell me it's a good thing we aren't monitored for weight anymore." 

 "I had a passenger call me a faggot when he was deplaning (in front of his children)."  

But this next one made each of us gasp. 

 "I had a passenger tell me he hoped our airline was obliterated from the face of the earth." This charming statement was made because said passenger had missed his connection due to weather. Each of us sighed, and knew that being haggard, fat or ugly was nothing compared to being obliterated from the face of the earth.  I guess I'll take haggard any day.